Elf risk

The ‘What were they thinking?’ award for misguided publicity this week simply has to go to newly formed hospitality recruiter Catering Services International.

The company, formerly known as plain old Catering Services but now relaunched as a division of the Grafters Group, has produced promotional literature that made Small Talk’s jaw hit the floor.

On the lookout for a snappy, amusing slogan to put on the front cover of the new brochure, the wags at CSI had a brainwave. Clients in the catering industry might sometimes be ‘short staffed’, right? So wouldn’t it be hilarious to take a photo of some catering staff, then doctor it to make them all look like midgets?

Now, although everyone at Small Talk is quite tall, we like to think that inside every one of us, there is a short person trying to get out (or possibly two short people, with one standing on the other’s shoulders). So in these PC-enlightened times, we couldn’t let this slur on our vertically challenged friends pass unreported.

Planet of the apes

Are you a bloke? Do you want to do well in business? Of course you do. Well the news on the street is that you should have a shave. That’s right – beards are bad for business, according to the Aziz Management Communications Index. A third of smooth-faced company directors believe that there is a prejudice against men with beards in business while only 4% of all those surveyed believe that a hairy face is an advantage (have to say, we are in agreement there). The really bad news is that about 40% of those surveyed said that those with beards were simply too lazy to shave. So there you have it. Go get yourself a Mach 3 and get rid of that unsightly growth – and will someone please tell Richard Branson…

Be nice to your PA – or else…

Fish4jobs, those jolly online recruiters who go around dressed as giant goldfish, have done some research which Small Talk thought it would be worth bringing to your attention. (If you’re drinking tea made by your secretary or PA it might be a good idea to put it down at this point.) What those fishy men were looking at was the lengths PAs and secs go to in order to get back at bullying bosses. One filled the air vents in her boss’s car with talc before he was about to drive important clients to dinner, while another (very imaginatively we thought) injected her boss’ chair with milk and spread mince under his carpet while he was away. His office had to be steamed to get rid of the smell. But here’s the killer. A number of secs admitted to washing their boss’ cup in the toilet before making them a drink. How does that tea taste now?

Colour me bad

Forget qualifications, experience, an Oxbridge degree – the most important thing you need to secure that dream job is the right colour suit. At least that’s what Veronique Henderson, who actually makes a living out of telling people what colours they should wear to work, says.

Her image consultancy, named Color Me Beautiful (they’re American), urges people to avoid wearing red to job interviews because it distracts interviewers.

Paul Cressey, the recruiter made famous last month by a Sunday Times article in which he owned up to wearing pink shirts at work, better watch out. Wearing pink could attract sexual advances from colleagues – rumbled Paul, you sly old dog!

Triple Nelson

Eagle-eyed readers of Professional Recruiter may have noticed a strange phenomenon emerging over the last three issues. Our last three profilees – Jonathan Wright, Tish Seabourne and now Graham Palfery-Smith – have all chosen Nelson Mandela, the Spice Girls’ favourite international statesman, as their all-time hero. Good to see that recruiters are political animals after all.