FROM JULY 2014’s RECRUITER MAGAZINE

Matt Churchward lists 10 very distinct types of recruiter. Do let us know if he’s missed any out…

What a diverse bunch we recruiters are. However, there are still a number of clear and recurring character types. Do you recognise any from your own office? If you don’t, then one of them is you.

1. The Geek

Sits in the corner, always on the phone even though you can’t actually hear them. Knows more about their market than even their clients. Shame they don’t have the face-to-face skills to actually meet them. Probably top biller in the company but no one knows what motivates them.

2. The ‘I thought this job was HR?’ Consultant

Nodded blankly in interview when told there was a lot of phone work involved. Cites “intrinsic positive feedback for helping someone find a job” as a motivation. Gets let down by a candidate, client or both in first week and immediately starts applying for HR assistant roles.

3. The Wanna-be Trader

Can’t quite get their head round that they aren’t actually a trader. Pin stripes, glistening side parting, they probably wear glasses even though they don’t have poor eyesight. Stands up when making phone calls. If they have Bluetooth headsets they pace up and down the office. Heroes: Jordan Belfort (the real-life person in the film The Wolf of Wall Street) and Gordon Gekko (the fictional character played by Michael Douglas from the film Wall Street without realising that Gekko actually is a fictional character).

4. The King/Queen of Pipeline

The descriptor ‘You’re only as good as your last deal’ doesn’t apply to this consultant. Normally because they haven’t made one. ‘You’re only as good as your next deal’ is their motto, and boy do they have some pipeline. All built on sand. Ekes out at least six months extra from their stay of execution through an unfailing positivity and belief that deals will come. Role models: Count Nostradamus and Derren Brown.

5. The Pessimist

The yang to ‘The Pipeline’s’ yin. Nothing is ever right for this consultant. Probably a consistently high biller but you wouldn’t know it. No one else works hard enough, people have too much fun at work, the commission scheme isn’t good enough, would rather have cash than a Christmas party. However, deep down they love it and will never leave.

6. The Megaphone

No accomplishment, no matter how insignificant, can be made without the entire office receiving a blow-by-blow account. “Boom! Another contractor placed to start Monday.” What they don’t tell you about is the eight they have finishing on Friday. Self-awareness is not high on their list of attributes. Probably count David Brent as a hero but without any hint of irony. Usually a very average biller. The natural enemy of The Geek.

7. The Contingency Consultant who thinks they do Search

Dresses like a presidential candidate and distances themselves from the rest of the wider business. Looks down their nose at any role below an £80k salary but has never actually pitched a retainer let alone worked one. Will end up in-house while maintaining a healthy contempt towards contingency recruiters.  

8. The Tea Maid

Very willing to make teas and coffees. After six months this becomes suspiciously willing. Appears to have a weak bladder as rarely seen at their desk. Essentially will do absolutely anything no matter how menial to avoid making a phone call. A short lifespan in recruitment is likely.

9. The Life Coach

Far too invested in the lives and drama of their candidates and clients. Will have the highest call time in the business of which 0.1% is spent doing sales. Lovely person and liked by everyone bar the balance sheet. Will have put ‘R.I.P. Maya Angelou’ on Facebook but won’t know who she actually was.

10. The Blogger

Comes up with any reason not to do sales anymore. Also willing to delegate blog writing.

Matt Churchward, director, The Green Recruitment Company

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