As the first match at Madison Warner’s annual 5-a-side football tournament for recruitment businesses held in Shoreditch in London’s East End kicked off last weekend, there was no lack of recruiters’ customary confidence and bravado. 

“We are in it to win it, the others may as well go home now,” said a member of one team. Others wondered somewhat optimistically whether your correspondent, with notebook in hand, was a scout from a Premier League club here to unearth some previously undiscovered talent rather than an erstwhile hack. 

Sadly these hopes were dashed. And it was the same on the field for 21 of the 22 teams, as after four or five hours of mostly good humoured but occasionally rumbustious competition, Signify Technology held off a strong challenge from Aston Carter in the final at the Shoreditch Powerleague venue.

As the sun shone with increasing intensity and spectators basked in the warm sunshine, Signify triumphed 2-1 in a fiercely contested final that saw one player from each team sent off. 

Paul Kelbie, from tournament sponsors Madison Warner, told Recruiter: “It’s a competitive tournament. People don’t come here to make up the numbers, they come here to win.” The talent on show “is unbelievable” he added.

Off the field, in lieu of paying to enter the tournament, recruiters responded with their usual generosity towards others who are less fortunate by donating to CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably), a charity that campaigns against the scourge of male suicide. Tournament winners Signify gave their £1k prize to CALM, with another £400 already donated, and more to come.  

Although unhappy with his team’s display in the final, Signify’s team manager and founder of the company Ryan Adams said it had been “a great tournament, for a very good cause”.

The 22 teams who took part in the tournament were divided into five groups, with the first three in each group going through to the next round alongside one other selected on goal difference. Those who failed to progress played for a separate shield. After a seesaw shield final, in which both teams at one stage or another thought they had won, Alexander Ash eventually defeated Spencer Ogden on penalties. Whether the final score was 9-8 or 8-7, in the general confusion nobody was quite sure…

Although still recognisably association football, the rules were a long way from what you might see on the full-size pitches of nearby Hackney Marshes, including no heading, ball not allowed to go more than 6ft above the ground, no slide tackles and no entry into the goalkeepers’ area.

This was no kickaround, with several teams employing players who have played at more exalted levels of the game. Among them was Signify’s Stefan Cox, a semi-professional midfielder who plays for Beckenham Town. Last year’s Golden Boot winner with 27 goals was soon banging the goals in again, helping smooth the technology recruiter’s unbeaten progress to the final.

Madison Warner enjoyed the services of ex-Ipswich Town, Brighton and England under-21 player Matt Richards. Before reaching the semi-final where they were defeated 5-2 by Signify, Richards told Recruiter that the standard of football “was really good, with more competition than last year” before going on to claim that because of the heat “I am getting a bit tired”.

The other semi-final saw Aston Carter end Chapman Black’s chances in a 4-3 victory. One of Chapman Black’s players was so impressed that he clapped his opponents as he was substituted, leading to an irate comment from a team-mate: “Stop clapping them, wait until after the game.”

Alongside the usual football mantras of ‘Stay with your runner, man on, press higher, be the last line’, referees also came in for not always constructive criticism from spectators and players alike. However, one player probably got more than he bargained for when, after asking the ref “What are you looking at?”, he received the withering reply: “Your pony tail.”

The steady consumption of alcohol added its own flavour to the occasion, leading one ProMedical player to reveal his own unique motivational technique by pointing out that their next opponents “have been getting smashed for the last half an hour. We can’t lose to them”.

Some teams clearly came with the aim of managing expectations. “We have got the nicest strip – it’s like Atletico Madrid’s,” said a member of Portfolio Group team, before adding: “It’s a shame we can’t defend like them.”

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